long freaking time since i did a blog post. and this one won't be worth any more than the others, i just wanna spit it all out, so that the few that still care can see it without me having to type it any more times. yep, lazy

so. i was in a fairly bad accident this weekend. sunday morning, around 6:15 am.  it had drizzled down snow for the first time this year, and the temp was, of course, freezing. i needed milk. so for all intents and purposes, i'm blaming my wreck on some cow, somewhere. yeah, i know. it hardly seems fair. that's life.

i was going over a bridge when it happened, which is what made the whole thing so terrifying for me. the roads really didn't seem slippery up til then, but i was still driving under the speed limit. i should also mention, that, as my mind was slightly..elsewhere.. i hadn't fastened my seatbelt (which is very unusual for me). as i went around a curve, my wheels started to slide.. this would have been just fine, since i wasn't going very fast.. except, in that one, stupid moment, i managed to forget everything i knew about driving safely, and i slammed on my breaks. if i'd hesitated even just a bit, i probably would have come out of it a bit dinged up, but mostly scratch free. but.. once i made that huge err in judgment, i started spinning faster, toward the left side of the bridge. the front end of my car smashed into the guard (cement, thankfully), bounced off of it, and started spinning even faster, toward the other side. i'm not sure what i was doing with my hands or feet at this point, but i had my eye on the right side of the bridge as i spun dangerously closer to it. i couldn't see when i hit, it was the back of my car that crashed into it.. but the impact was hard enough to throw me from my place in the driver's seat, to the backseat of the car.

i was sure that i'd gone over the bridge, that i was falling to my death. looking at things from this safely-in-front-of-my-monitor perspective, it seems absurd. but i can recall the memory very clearly. i'd reached that..resolve.. accepted what was about to happen.. and i was waiting for it. not ready, but waiting. i don't know how long it took to realize that my car wasn't moving.. it was probably less than half a minute, but seems as though it lasted for several. i was still scared to move, envisioning those movies where someone's car is teetering on a cliff or bridge, and the slightest movement pushes them over the edge. i lifted my head and surveyed the damage, and was amazed to see that i hadn't even broken through the guard. then the panic settled in - that i'd smashed my gas tank in and could, theoretically, explode at any moment.. and i fought tooth and nail to untangle my legs, which were wrapped tightly around the driver's seat i'd been sitting in moments earlier. once i was out of the car, wobbly-legged and with tears already streaming down my face, i realized that i was barely hurt.. nothing broken, just a few tender places (which have, since, become excruciating, but i still can't complain).  i was even able to drive my car away from the scene, since no one else had been involved (i don't carry a cell, so it's not like i could have phoned the police then and there anyway).

you'll wonder if i have a point. i don't. other than what i mentioned above. it's all still in my head pretty loudly, and it's..refreshing to write about. i don't even have a bottom line.. though i guess the fact that i'm still alive and mostly well could be made into one. my car might not be, but it's a piece of metal, and much easier to fix or replace. i'm not one of those people..who's thankful every day to be alive..and this isn't going to change that. but, i can honestly say, i'm glad i didn't die yesterday.

and they all lived happily ever after, in a house with a kitchen that floats on an antigravity field. the end.