Merry Christmas, you sorry lot. The one day of the year where I'm supposed to reign supreme, and what do I get? A load of coal and suffering?! My displeasure shall rain down upon the world like the tears of a thousand stillborn children, and the skin will melt off your bones with revulsion.

...so I take it I'm not on the nice list anymore?

Seriously, though, merry <Non-denominational holiday> to you all, and I hope you have a good present day.