Well, it's that time of year. A time when the warm weather creeps in, plants start to bloom, and young men and women's fancies turn to dry and deliberately misleading stockholder reports. That's right. The time has arrived for the Q4 2006 edition of the Tedronai Media Empire's shareholder briefing. Sit tight. As you know, the last twelve fiscal quarters haven't been ideal for our company. Read more »

As some of you know, I have a day job. I am, in essence, the photo lab at the Eckerd Pharmacy down the street from my place of residence. Eckerd, I need to stress, is a thoroughly incompetent institution. It has, as you may have heard (or may not, I don't know, what the fuck am I, psychic?) recently been purchased by Rite Aid. Rite Aid, people. A company run by a terrifying woman whose face does not move when she talks, and whose soulless eyes induce catatonia in bystanders. We're not talking a Walgreens here, people. Rite Aid dominates Rhode Island, its own employees, and that's about it. Read more »

So by now word's gone down the wire that Mr. Despot is a) deceased, and b) running for president of the United States. Apparently the International Political Party for Assholes (IPPA) has such a shitty membership roll that they felt that their best bet was to go for a dead illegal immigrant felon over one of their own. That's alright, I suppose. I mean, America did elect Nixon, and I'm not sure if he's even human. Read more »